Scary Limericks
Source for most
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There was a young lady from Riga Lettlands huvudstad
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
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There once was a little girl called Mary,
Who was really, really scary,
she went to school,
and broke a rule,
so got sent home real early!
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At a lab a technician named Sloan
pricked his finger while on the phone
a mistake he'd regret
when years later he met
his own illegitimate clone.
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A biker,one day,on a ride.
With a car,attached,alongside.
Hit a dog in the road,
a cat, and a toad,
He said he could drive, but he lied.
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I knew a girl from Surf City,
We all thought she was so pretty,
She ran down to the beach,
And she stopped with a screech
She stepped on a crab. What a pity!
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There once was a kangaroo
She lived in a little zoo
She poked her pouch
and then said ouch
And I think that you would too.
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There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.
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A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed.
There was a young lady named Slater
Who married an old alligator.
The night that they wed
They climbed into bed,
But rather than mate her, he ate her.
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There once was a cat named Pat,
Who didn't know where he was at,
He looked up and down,
and then turned around,
Ran into a wall and went splat!!!
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There once was a kitty named Spike,
A daring and very bold tyke.
He took many chances,
Without consequences,
Until he got squashed by a bike.
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There was a black dog named Rosie
Who tried to bite someone's toesies
She took a huge bite
Then ran out of sight
And left the poor guy with nine toesies
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There once was a boy named Lee,
Who always threw rocks at a tree.
One day when it shivered,
Lee shaked and quivered
When out shot hundreds of bees!
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There one was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe,
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,
and found that his dream had come true!
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There was a young man of South Bay,
Making fireworks one summer day.
He dropped his cigar
In the gunpowder jar...
There was a young man of South Bay.
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There was an old man of Blackheath,
Who sat on his set of false teeth;
Said he, with a start,
'O Lord, bless my heart!
I've bitten myself underneath!'
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The gangsta confused the whole nation
When he rapped a mathematic equation.
It ain’t the tradition
To rhyme in addition—
No homies respec’ calculation Source
