Limerick

Source

There once was a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
Contributed by John Field

There was an old man of Peru,
Who dreamt he was kissing his shoe.
He woke in the night
In a terrible fright
And found it was perfectly true.
Contributed by Kathy Ewing, Oman

There was a young lady from Thrace,
Whose corsets grew too tight to lace.
Her mother said, "Nelly,
There's more in your belly,
Than ever went in through your face!"
Contributed by Kathy Ewing, Oman

I wish that my room had a floor.
I don't care so much for a door.
But this walking around
Without touching the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore.
Rafael Woolf

A wonderful bird is the pelican.
Its beak can hold more than its belly can.
It can hold in its beak
Enough food for a week.
I'm darned if I know how the hell he can.
Almut Hahn

The was a young lady from Speen
Who grew so abnormally lean
And flat and compressed
That her back touched her chest
And sideways she couldn't be seen.
Almut Hahn

There once was a young man from Lyme
Who scored a goal for the very first time!
The young man was glad
But his teammates were sad
'Cause he hadn't changed sides at half time!

There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
That when she assayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in!

There was a young man from the Clyde
Who fell down a sewer and died
Along came his brother,
Who fell down another
And now they're interred side by side!

By beauty I am not a star.
There are others more handsome by far.
My face I don't mind it.
because I'm behind it.
It's the people in front that I jar.

There once was a boy from Montreal
Who loved to play basketball
For a team he tried out
But if he made it, I doubt
For you see, he was three feet tall!

An old fellow dining at Crewe
Found a very large bug in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too.

There once was a girl from Great Britain
Who carelessly sat on her kitten
Imagine her surprise
and the look in her eyes
when on the behind she was bitten.

There was a plump knight named Sir Keith
Who removed his sword from its sheath
He fought for his honor
But soon was a goner
And the dragon stood picking his teeth.

There once was a teacher from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour,
Her nose was a flower,
And her hair was a bunch of weeds. source

There was a young woman of Leeds
Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a month, silly lass,
She was covered with grass,
And she couldn't sit down for the weeds.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses,
And all the king's men,
Said, `Scrambled eggs for dinner again!'

Roses can sometimes be red
And violets are generally blue
For it's not in the rhyming
But all in the timing
That makes a dumb Limerick true