The True Story of the Three Little Pigs
A skit sketch
Åsa, Handskerydsskolan, Nässjö – www.lektion.se Modified & made more idiomatic by FF.
Characters: Mother Pig, Wolf, Pig 1, Pig 2, Pig 3, Narrator
own home. Now is time for you to start your own family.
P1: Yes mum. You are right. We are big now.
MP: Off you go now before I start to cry. Bye-Bye!
P2: Bye-bye. We love you!
P3: We’ll come back to visit you.
Narrator: The younger pigs walk away.
MP: How nice to be alone for once.
Now I’m going to have a nice cup of coffee and watch Oprah Winfrey on TV.
Narrator: The three Pigs walk and sing: "Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf…"
P1: I think I’m gonna build my house right here.
I’m just gonna cut some grass and build a nice house.
P3: What if the wolf comes?
P1: I’m not afraid.
P2: Okay. See you later.
Narrator: Pig 2 and Pig 3 walk and sing: "Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf…"
P2: I think I’m gonna build my house right here.
I’m just gonna pick up sticks and build a nice house.
P3: What if the wolf comes?
P2: I’m not afraid.
P3: Okay. See you later.
Narrator: Pig 3 walks and sings: "Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf…"
P3: I think I’m gonna build my house right here.
I’m just gonna buy some bricks and build a nice house.
The wolf is not gonna eat me up!
Narrator: The wolf stands outside the first little pigs house.
W: Knock! Knock!
P1: Who is it?
W: It’s me! The big bad wolf.
Open the door. I want to come in and eat you up.
P1: No way!
W: Then I will huff and puff until the house falls down.
Narrator: The wolf hunts the first Pig to the second Pig’s house.
Then the wolf stands outside the second little pig’s house.
W: Knock! Knock!
P2: Who is it?
W: It’s me! The big bad wolf.
Open the door so I can come in and eat you up!
P2: No way!
W: No? Then I will huff and puff until the house falls down.
Narrator: The Wolf hunts the two pigs to the third Pig’s house.
The wolf stands outside the third little pig’s house.
W: Knock! Knock!
P3: Who is it?
W: It’s me! The big bad wolf.
Open the door. I want to come in and eat you up.
P3: No way!
W: No? Then I will huff and puff until the house falls down.
P3: You can huff and puff until you turn blue!
Narrator: The wolf huffs and puffs but the house stands solid.
Then he climbs onto the roof. He goes down the chimney.
The three little pigs put a big pan on the fire. The wolf falls into it.]
W: Ahh, my poor tail!!!
P1: You’d better not come here again!
P2: Bye-bye!
P1, P2, P3 sing: Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf!!!
The True Story of the Three Little Pigs
written by A. Wolf, aka (=also known as) Jon Scieszka.
This traditional story is pulled, pushed, changed in interesting ways:
"Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I'll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the story….
“Way back in Once Upon a Time time, I was making a birthday cake for my dear old granny. I had a terrible sneezing cold. I ran out of sugar.
“So I walked down the street to ask my neighbor for a cup of sugar. Now this neighbor was a pig. And he wasn't too bright either. He had built his whole house out of straw. Can you believe it? I mean who in his right mind would build a house of straw?”
And the story continues: the cold makes his nose itch, he huffs and puffs, sneezes and the house falls down; the pig dies in the accident, and, as Al the Wolf says:
“It seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw. So I ate it up. Think of it as a cheeseburger just lying there.
Activity
Rewrite, in a similar manner, one of the following tales (or any other tale).
* The Adventures of Tom Thumb
* Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
* The Beauty and the Beast
* Cinderella Askungen
* Country Mouse and Town Mouse
* The Elves and the Shoemaker
* The Emperor’s New Clothes
* Sour Grapes
* The Fox and the Stork
* The Golden Goose
* Goldilocks and the Three Bears
* Hansel and Gretel
* The Hare and the Tortoise
* Jack and the Beanstalk
* The Little Mermaid
* Mitas
* The Mouse and the Lion
* The Musicians of Bremen
* The Princess and the Pea
* Puss in Boots
* The Seven Voyages of Sinbad
* Sleeping Beauty Törnrosa
Unabridged True Story
The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, written by A. Wolf, aka (=also known as) Jon Scieszka.
Published (1989) by: VIKING, 375 Hudson Street New York NY 10014 www.dramaticpublishing.com
SOMERSET PA (AP) -- A. Wolf took the stand today in his own defense. This shocked and stunned the media who predicted that he would not testify in the brutal double murder trial. A. Wolf is accused of killing (and eating) The First Little Pig, and The Second Little Pig. This criminal trial is expected to be followed by a civil trial to be brought by the surviving Third Little Pig. The case has been characterized as a media circus.
His testimony is transcribed below:
"Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I'll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the story. I'm Alexander T. Wolf. You can call me Al. I don't know how this whole Big Bad Wolf thing got started, but it's all wrong. Maybe it's because of our diet. Hey, it's not my fault wolves eat cute little animals like bunnies and sheep and pigs. That's just the way we are. If cheeseburgers were cute, folks would probably think you were Big and Bad too. But like I was saying, the whole big bad wolf thing is all wrong. The real story is about a sneeze and a cup of sugar.
THIS IS THE REAL STORY.
Way back in Once Upon a Time time, I was making a birthday cake for my dear old granny. I had a terrible sneezing cold. I ran out of sugar. So I walked down the street to ask my neighbor for a cup of sugar. Now this neighbor was a pig. And he wasn't too bright either. He had built his whole house out of straw. Can you believe it? I mean who in his right mind would build a house of straw? So of course the minute I knocked on the door, it fell right in. I didn't want to just walk into someone else's house. So I called, "Little Pig, Little Pig, are you in?" No answer. I was just about to go home without the cup of sugar for my dear old granny's birthday cake.
That's when my nose started to itch. I felt a sneeze coming on. Well I huffed. And I snuffed. And I sneezed a great sneeze.
And you know what? The whole darn straw house fell down. And right in the middle of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig - dead as a doornail. He had been home the whole time. It seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw. So I ate it up. Think of it as a cheeseburger just lying there. I was feeling a little better. But I still didn't have my cup of sugar . So I went to the next neighbor's house. This neighbor was the First Little Pig's brother. He was a little smarter, but not much. He has built his house of sticks. I rang the bell on the stick house. Nobody answered. I called, "Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, are you in?" He yelled back."Go away wolf. You can't come in. I'm shaving the hairs on my shinny chin chin."
I had just grabbed the doorknob when I felt another sneeze coming on. I huffed. And I snuffed. And I tried to cover my mouth, but I sneezed a great sneeze.
And you are not going to believe this, but the guy's house fell down just like his brother's. When the dust cleared, there was the Second Little Pig - dead as a doornail. Wolf's honor. Now you know food will spoil if you just leave it out in the open. So I did the only thing there was to do. I had dinner again. Think of it as a second helping. I was getting awfully full. But my cold was feeling a little better. And I still didn't have that cup of sugarr for my dear old granny's birthday cake. So I went to the next house. This guy was the First and Second Little Pig's brother. He must have been the brains of the family. He had built his house of bricks. I knocked on the brick house. No answer. I called, "Mr Pig, Mr. Pig, are you in?" And do you know what that rude little porker answered? "Get out of here, Wolf. Don't bother me again."
Talk about impolite! He probably had a whole sackful of sugar. And he wouldn't give me even one little cup for my dear sweet old granny's birthday cake. What a pig!
I was just about to go home and maybe make a nice birthday card instead of a cake, when I felt my cold coming on. I huffed And I snuffed. And I sneezed once again.
Then the Third Little Pig yelled, " And your old granny can sit on a pin!" Now I'm usually a pretty calm fellow. But when somebody talks about my granny like that, I go a Little crazy. When the cops drove up, of course I was trying to break down this Pig's door. And the whole time I was huffing and puffing and sneezing and making a real scene.
The rest as they say is history.
The news reporters found out about the two pigs I had for dinner. They figured a sick guy going to borrow a cup of sugar didn't sound very exciting.
So they jazzed up the story with all of that "Huff and puff and blow your house down"
And they made me the Big Bad Wolf. That's it The real story. I was framed. "
But maybe you could loan me a cup of sugar ?
